The True Story Behind FX's Dying For Sex & Molly Kochan, Explained

FX's miniseries Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly Kochan, a woman diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer who decides to leave her husband to pursue her sexual fantasies for the remainder of the time she has left. Equal parts humorous and emotionally gut-wrenching, Dying for Sex is a beautiful and nuanced look at one woman trying to explore her humanity and embrace life to the fullest. Dying for Sex's cast is led by Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate as Molly and Nikki, two real friends who went through Molly's major life events together.

Dying for Sex has received phenomenal reviews so far, which highlights Williams and Slate's incredible performances and the series' exceptional writing. Dying for Sex never feels rushed and does a great job of creating levity through moments of dark humor within its incredibly heavy topic and very real discussions. The new series is arguably one of the best shows on Hulu right now and is certainly worth a watch. Dying for Sex might also sound familiar to some viewers, as the series was based on the podcast of the same name which details Molly's real story.

The Real Molly Kochan Was Diagnosed With Terminal Breast Cancer In 2015

Kochan Had Been Diagnosed Previously Too

Similar to what is presented in the FX series, the real Molly Kochan was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2015 at the age of 42. Kochan had previously received treatment for breast cancer and had already undergone radiation, chemotherapy, and a mastectomy prior to the cancer coming back. When Kochan was rediagnosed, she learned that the cancer was terminal, and she decided to make the most of the time that she had left.

FX's series Dying for Sex details Kochan's diagnosis through Michelle Williams' performance, including through her interactions with the added character Sonya, a psychologist at Molly's hospital. The series sees Molly realizing that she still has goals, never experiencing many of the things that she is interested in. Knowing that Molly is still young and wanting to encourage her, Sonya tells Molly to add having an orgasm to her bucket list. Molly's decision to explore her sexuality showed she was now in control of her own life following her diagnosis.

Molly Kochan Left Her Husband & Explored Her Sexuality After Her Terminal Diagnosis

Kochan Wanted To Embrace Life And Learn More About Herself

As in Dying for Sex, Molly Kochan did leave her husband after 15 years together. In her WordPress blog everythingleadstothis, Kochan shared the experience in a post titled "I left my husband today" which was published on March 28, 2016. Kochan wrote that the diagnosis helped her to make the choice to leave her husband. Despite still having love for him, Kochan shared that their relationship was also stressful and at times disjointed.

In the same post, Kochan wrote that she felt she was "renting space in someone else's world" and the diagnosis allowed her to realize that it was time to find her own world and make her own mark. Shortly after deciding to leave her husband, whose name was changed to Steve for the series and is not identified by name in the blog or podcast, Molly Kochan decided to get back into dating. Around this same time, Kochan created an Instagram account, also called Dying 4 Sex, in order to post selfies to get comfortable with her body.

While Molly Kochan leaving her husband was likely an incredibly hard decision, ultimately she had the courage to unashamedly be herself.

Along with the selfies, which featured Kochan wearing lingerie, Molly Kochan began online dating and seeking out potential sexual partners who would allow her to explore her own desires for the first time. In one episode of the Dying for Sex podcast, Kochan explained to her friend Nikki Boyer that she had experienced trauma when she was younger that discouraged her from exploring her sexuality and pleasure. While Molly Kochan leaving her husband was likely an incredibly hard decision, ultimately, she had the courage to unashamedly be herself.

Molly Kochan & Her Best Friend Nikki Boyer Started A Podcast About Her Sexual Adventures

The Podcast Of The Same Name Was Released In 2020

Dying for Sex centers on Molly grappling with her cancer while also having a great time exploring her own desires, and her best friend Nikki is right alongside her. In real life, Molly Kochan and her best friend Nikki Boyer really talked about Molly's sexual escapades, and the result was the Dying for Sex podcast, which was released in 2020. In an interview with The New York Post, Boyer stated that she first had the idea for the podcast after learning that Kochan had already been on multiple dates that day before meeting Boyer.

Michelle Williams subtly smiling as Molly in Dying for Sex

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Boyer, who serves as an executive producer for the series, also shared that part of why the pair found Dying for Sex so important was that "sex and illness are rarely discussed together." The podcast allowed Kochan to speak freely about the medications that she was on and what it was really like for her to have such strong desires while also being in treatment for cancer. Molly Kochan is incredibly open in the now-famous podcast about her experiences with illness and how sex helped her find herself.

Boyer has noted that the pair stopped counting how many sexual encounters Molly had after 183, a detail which lends itself well to the variety of stories that Kochan shares throughout its episodes.

The Dying for Sex podcast is very similar to what the FX series portrays, with the obvious note that Molly is recalling the stories rather than living them in the moment. Also like the series, the podcast is both hilariously funny at points and heartbreaking at others. Boyer has noted that the pair stopped counting how many sexual encounters Molly had after 183, a detail which lends itself well to the variety of stories that Kochan shares throughout its episodes. Ultimately, the podcast, like the series, is a bittersweet reminder of a life well lived.

Molly Kochan Died In 2019, 8 Years After Her First Cancer Diagnosis

Sadly Molly Has Passed Away, But She Leaves An Impressive Legacy Behind

Sadly, just as the series depicts Kochan on her deathbed, Molly Kochan passed away in real life in 2019 at the age of 45. Her death came eight years after first being diagnosed with breast cancer, and three years after deciding to leave her husband and make her life her own. During those years, Molly Kochan created an impressive legacy surrounding both sex positivity and real, progressive conversations about illness.

Nikki Boyer and Molly Kochan's podcast Dying for Sex was released one year after Molly's passing, as was her memoir, Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole. While Molly Kochan herself may not still be here, her humor and courage have continued to impress listeners of Dying for Sex and FX's Dying for Sex series promises to continue telling her story with the emotional candor that it so deserves.

Source: everythingleadstothis, The New York Post